WHY BOTHER?!

thats your favorite line, isnt it.

sometimes i wish i wasnt born into this family.

i've received too much tough love, and i feel so tired of having to cope with it.

so much for being here in this world.

fuck it.

why do i even bother trying when i almost always know the results.

and all these thing with faith and all..

maybe because i was born into an era that doesnt believe in it, or .. how should i put it.

that we, new generation kids, arent fearful of it?

i dont believe in being overly Protective of myself, because something bad is ultimately going to happen.

its not like, every moment of every second, i am in danger.

its not like, staying in the house all day, will protect me from whatever you think is bad from outside.

...

what am i saying. no, why do i even bother saying all these.

its not as if you read me/ or at least attempt to.

you may think that you're giving your best of efforts now, but believe me, from a child's perspective,

you're not even half-way there.


.

after 19years, i dont think you even understand me at all.

and i feel sad for you.

so sad, i cant cry tears anymore.

because, you are, very much pathetic.

you can talk shit and go around hoo-haa-ing at others, at your friends, at your colleagues, or other strangers on the street.

you can go try and shout your lungs out, trying to gain sympathy and attention.

but after all this,

you're nothing but a walking contradiction.

and this,

this i feel sad for you.